Wednesday, October 21, 2009

An Open Letter . . .

Dear Carnie Wilson -

Before I start ranting, I'll quote you . . . "I've written two autobiographies and posed for Playboy. I think I've pretty much been out there. But this is definitely the most exposed I've ever been." I'd also like to remind everyone that you had your gastric bypass for the world to see ONLINE!

I get that you struggle with obesity (some of the best of us do (hardy-har-har))! I get that pregnancy is tough. I get that being a working parent (I'm a dad, you are a mom, they are not the same but I can "relate") and I get that you enjoy being on television (again, some of the best of us do (hardy-har-harrrrr))!

I also get that you've got a game show, solo albums, the classic hits of Wilson Phillips (I'll admit it - I had that CD and once upon a time but I'm also, to be clear, an UNASHAMED Celine Dion fan so . . . there you have that) and I get that you also like to inspire and empower the obese through your site LiteAndHope.com. (Get it - LITE (again, hardy-uh-har-har (?))) and you also tinker in a line of luxury desserts with Melissa Joan hart and that you "enjoy feeding people." Oh and that you called one of your books "I'm Still Hungry."

I get it. I do. I feel for you. I too struggle. I haven't lost an ounce in a while. I'm sort of bummed with that but I'm still down 300 pounds from the heaviest I've been in my life. I too find prioritizing myself to be difficult in the chaos of my family, my work and my overall life. I also made the most of my skinny-self by posing for Playboy (the fellas love a nice set of moobs, what can I say?) and I also want people to really understand the reality of obesity and the challenges of living with, through and after it (knock on wood).

Here is where I stop sympathizing with you. Your new "reality" show is call UNSTAPLED. Your producer points out it is more about "just living outloud" (or whatever stupid sounbyte pours out when explaining it. But, Dear Carnie, let's assume this is just your latest attempt to make money on your struggle with obesity and your latest inadvertent set back to gastric bypass education.

I don't know if your hangers-on have told you this but getting "unstapled" (if you even have staples at all - they are no longer used in most GBs in the Western world) would make no sense as you can not, in fact, "undo" gastric bypass. You can stretch your pouch back out (let's assume you have) and you can blow your diet (let's assume you have) but you can not get your stomach back. But the average person probably doesn't know that.

What they do know is that you've been on three reality TV shows now that are centered on your efforts to lose weight or keep weight off and that none of them have worked. They see you as being the "typical" GBer. That your reality is "the" reality. WHY do they do that? Because no one gives those of us that are doing well a friggin' reality show and none of us are invited on Oprah or whatever.

So you've posed for Playboy. You make luxury DESSERTS and you are a failed "example" of how to live life after surgery. I'm sure plenty of people fine you inspiring but - like with Oprah - I'm WAY over your obesity fight.

Get rid of the cameras. Get rid of the pomp and celebration. Get rid of the self-obsessed nature (I say this on my BLOG so clearly I'm a hypocrite) and just focus on your diet, your exercise and whatever part of you is still sad and unready to give up the comfort and love of food.

Those of us that are fighting the good fight and don't need to see the failures of our peers to motivate us (I'll take The Biggest Loser for that inspiration and suggest anyone reading this will too) and those of us (you should be included in that) that are tired of the confusion around life after gastric bypass and people assuming you can NOT lose and keep weight off after surgery and those of us that just want to hope and pray that no one has this surgery until they are truly ready and that they can make a real run at life after are TIRED of you hurting the cause.

I don't mean to be dramatic and I know I am being just that. I do hope you lose the weight. I hope you get happy. I hope you get back to a weight that you are truly happy with and that you can maintain when you get there.

In the meantime maybe you should just get rid of as many distractions as you can. You might even have another book to write (or TV show to make or magazine to pose for) when you do! And if that fails . . . well . . .

Regards -

- Sean

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