I hope you are sitting down. I have some news. I, Sean Amore, bought a new pair of khakis a few weeks ago (two pair, actually - but only one matters for this story). And that is not the ONLY shock. The other part . . . I bought them at JC Penney. I know, I know. I NEVER shop there (I wish I could quit you, JCP!).They are great! I bought them with a 32" inseam (I'm only a 30") so I can put a nice cuff at the bottom and they are a little loose (without looking sloppy) and they are heavy and combed/frayed . . . I love them.
So I washed them (as I do from time to time) yesterday and I was folding them - and the rest of the "shades of beige" load this morning (as is part of my normal Monday routine) and I held up my khakis and I was LIVID!
They looked tiny. Inadequate. Like they were Joy's . . . or maybe even Ava's . . . instead of mine. I had machine dried my khakis and shrunk them down and now they were only really "good" for taking up closet space and making me angry about my laundry stupidity.
How bad could it be? What if I can still squeeze in to them? What if they are sort of okay?
I stood up - pajamas still on and all (for those that might think I fold laundry in the nude (you naught mental picturists)) and started to put my pants on (one leg at a time - like any other man) and I pulled them up and pulled them over my ample, child-bearing hips and easily buckled the French fly and had the "room" I had before I laundered them.
Yep. Sure enough. The pants were fine - it was just my perception of how big a pair of pants had to be to fit me that was out of whack.
30 months after surgery and I still have the occasional "a ha" moment! Thanks, gastric bypass!
