Thursday, August 13, 2009

Milk. It Does a Diet Good . . .

DISCLAIMER - The following post is not to be confused with any sort of SOUND or RATIONAL logic and should NOT be seen as something that you might ever consider as REAL dietary/nutrition advice. That being said - I'm TOTALLY serious about this! Let's begin . . .

I am tired of food. I mean SICK of it. I have felt this way for almost 2 1/2 years (since my surgery) and I think the fact that I have deliberately restricted my diet and the scope of food I will eat since my surgery has furthered my frustration.

I'm SURE that I'm not alone in my angst. It is a well documented part of life after gastric bypass (or life inside any long term dietary or nutritional structure). I'm sure that just about any of would, from time to time, like to have full access to food again. Not that we want to eat sugary desserts or would like to eat an entire pizza in one sitting (some of you might want that - I do not) but more that you want to feel like the world is your oyster (so to speak . . . ) once again.

This was, to be frank, the BIGGEST concern my parents had with me having gastric bypass (once a concerned parent, always a concerned parent, I guess). They were sure that I would wake up one morning with resentment for the rules and this insatiable urge to eat EVERYTHING in sight. The latter has not happened (clearly) but the belief that I might someday tire of the rules of food after surgery turned out to be factual (parents and their infinite wisdom (I hope Ava is reading this (smile)).

I'm tired of wraps and chicken breast. I'm gnawed through on protein bars and shakes. I've blanded on egg whites and hummus. I-Dun-Wahn-Yer-Nutrition, boring foods!

So I'm rebelling! I'm cutting loose. I'm going old school (as in the first food most of us ever consumed - minus the boob or bottle "nipple" for a serving vessel) and milking my diet for a week. Yep. Cold, delicious, frothy, yummy MILK! (To be clear I know that breast milk and formula are not actually "milk" but I'm going for literary license here.)

Not a BITE will cross these lips. NOTHING to chew on. NOTHING to work through my pouch. NOTHING that requires a fork, spoon, plate or bowl. Nope. ALL I'll be consuming for seven full days is fat free milk, water and iced tea (emphasis on the milk).

Here's the plan/play . . . starting Monday, August 17th I am going to go seven days with nothing entering my temple (since my body is, in fact, a temple) but milk. 10 cups of skim milk per day, to be specific (that's just over 1/2 gallon of milk a day). I will drink a cup of milk every 90 minutes between 7:00 AM and 8:30 PM (or as close to that as practical/possible). I will ice every cup of the milk (so I can sip it out over time) and might add some sugar free powders or syrups (just for flavor, not for caloric addition or other impact) but I hope to keep my milk as "pure" as possible.

This may sound like it is contrary to the rules of food after GB but it is actually very much IN LINE with the rules. Based on the known nutrition of fat free milk my plan comes out to about 900 calories and 80 grams of protein - not to mention 500% of my calcium and a bumper crop of every other vitamin or mineral I am supposed to get in any given day as well. There is NO fat in the milk (the body requires some fat but it is okay to go with just trace amounts for one week) and there is no added sugar or modification to the food that might impact how it effects my body. Nope - the milk diet is actually a nutritionally sound pursuit (albeit a dumb one).

A few points (before you light me up on the comments) . . .

1 - I KNOW that no one ever loses real weight or sees long term results from extreme/fad or overly restrictive diets (this is not really "about" losing weight as much as resetting my feelings on food and flavors).
2 - I KNOW that it is bad for the body to not get a variety of foods and nutritional offerings (this is just for a week, life will go on).
3 - I KNOW that this is extreme and could be awkward for me (I will walk away from the milk diet the minute things get dicey or uncomfortable - I'm in touch enough with my body (at this point) to know if I'm doing anything wrong).

I just want to see what happens to my body. Will I feel better? Will I feel worse? Will I crave foods again? Will my diet seem wonderful to me again? Will I decide to make this permanent? How will this effect my exercise pursuits? How will this effect my general energy level and attitude? Will I lose or gain weight? What will my poop be like (you know you are curious about this one too - admit it)?

I will keep you posted as the week begins and plays out but, for now, I just wanted to formally announce my intentions as a way to make it "real."

Let the criticisms begin!!!

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