Sunday, April 12, 2009
Losing My Drive-In Virginity . . .
Disclaimer said . . . Joy and I took full advantage of having Gamma and Gampa Amo in town last night. We did something truly unique. Truly bold. Truly entertaining.
We piled in the car with our latest obsession, the Koskies, and headed to Wichita's only drive-in movie theater.
What an adventure it was!
Here are the ten things I learned at the Drive-In (you could benefit from these lessons too if you don't already know them) . . .
1 - You can get a car load of people in for $10. That means, for us, each of us could have watched three movies for just $2.50/person. Take THAT, Mr. Warren.
2 - You can bring your own food and beverage in to the Drive-In. No additional charge. no fees. Just bring it in and enjoy it. Brandi made us a delicious grilled, dry-rubbed chicken and grilled vegetables with some grilled pineapple on the side.
3 - Shelton refuses to eat cooked/warmed/heated fruit. Brandi brought him some cold pineapple. Wives are wonderful.
4 - Vin Diesel really is the Marlon Brando of our generation. Sadly he's the later-in-life Marlon Brando (slightly bloated, angry, hard to understand, making questionable film choices, etc.). Like Brando (and Stevie Wonder though) - we can all fondly remember his great moments and pops of genius and forgive him his late-career indiscretions.
5 - The Chilly Dilly commercial is borderline hilarious when you are with three fellow, late-pubescent 30-somethings in the back of a Nissan X-Terra getting giddy over Fast & Furious (any minute now).
6 - The sound quality of the 30-year-old, wired speakers you strap to your car to hear the movie at the Drive-In make car chases, explosions and mumbled dialogue really "pop" the way the director no-doubt intended them to be.
7 - Once the first person honks their horn during the movie, the next 30 or 40 beeps are "honks" are just something you have to ride out. Yelling for it to stop, as the guy in the car next to us did, doesn't really help. It just doesn't. It might make it worse.
8 - The Kansas wind on an April evening, no matter how warm the air might or might not be, will remind you that winter may be technically over but Spring clearly has more work to do before the shorts and flip flops are appropriate attire once the sun goes down.
9 - Only you can, by frequenting the Drive-In, can stop the decline of American standards and ideals. It is true. According to the pre-trailer infomercial and signs posted in the bathroom, it is up to you to ensure that Drive-Ins are here to stay and they don't become another " boring strip mall of shops and stores."
10 - No matter how much fun you are having with your friends at the Drive-In, when that first movie is over (and the scary movie is about to begin) it is time to pick up the trash, fold up the blankets and the chairs and put the seats back in their normal and up-right positions and get home. After all - you've already paid your admission. The future of American culture is secure. Go home. Warm up. Come back soon.