Thursday, January 22, 2009

Not-So Dreaded Words . . .

Ugh. I know that the little troopers roll out their baked "goods" at different times of the year depending on geography and other considerations but - it is apparently "Girl Scout Cookie Season" here in Kansas.

"Forget magazines, they don’t taste nearly as good as Thin Mints! Yes, Girl Scout Cookies sales are back. If you’ve not already had a uniform-clad young lady knock on your door to sell you cookies, there is an order form at the front desk. Checks can be made out to Brown Troop 40836. Order early & often!" the early morning e-mail from a co-worker read.

What timing!

We were just talking about Girl Scout cookies here in the PR department yesterday. This will, I'm sure, come as a shock to many of you but I used to be more than just a "fan" of the Girl Scout cookie. I was also their number one customer for a few years. I'm pretty sure my order would single-handidly qualify some random niece of a former co-worker's best friend (or whatever) for the iPod or trip to Disney World or whatever they gave those years to reward America's Most Ambitious Junior Obesity Enabler (smile).

"What was your favorite?" I was asked.

"The ones that come in boxes." I deadpanned.

Seriously though. I was an equal-opportunity inhaler.

Thin Mints? Not for long!
Do-Si-Dos? My PARTNER!
Trefoils? Tres Delicious!
Tagalongs? Don'tlastlongs
Samoas? Yes PLEASE (get it - Samoa? Some Moa? Some More?)

And those are just the classics. The "limited edition" cookies tempted me year after year after year.

I would buy, I kid you not, 25 or 30 BOXES of cookies a year. They would last . . . a week?! Maybe?! I mean - how could they last long when I was eating them four or five BOXES in a sitting (you only got like 15 in a box and they were essentially bite-sized, right?). Have you ever really LOOKED at the nutrition information on a box of Girl Scout Cookies? Oh my!

I don't have very many happy memories of Girl Scout Cookies, frankly. Even in high school I overate them and with little intention of actually enjoying the cookies themselves. I never, frankly, really understood the logic of eating for "enjoyment."

I mean - sure - I could go to a nicer restaurant and get a smaller entree that was overpriced and was very decadent and satisfying because of it but - as my BOXED foods go . . . they didn't really seem to be cultured or enriching beyond the sweet effects of that much sugar in my tummy.

I'm all for you sickos who can have "just one" cookie or who can make a box of cookies last for a week or two without it being awkward that they are just sitting there - in the pantry or freezer taunting you (they do taunt all of us, right? (smile))! I am NOT saying they should not sell the cookies or that it is the Girl Scout's fault that I got up to 500+ pounds. I'm all but positive that the cookies should be available to the world without any responsibility to ensure healthy eating. I'm not even bashing the Girl Scouts here. We Boy Scouts (yes, I am/was (long story that makes my mother cry) an Eagle Scout) sold popcorn, for the love of God. I'm just saying that - before my surgery an e-mail about Girl Scout Cookies would have put me in a tizzy/lather of junk food anticiatipation.

I can honestly tell you that I do NOT, since my surgery, miss or long for or regret that I can't partake in or wish I could "go back" and have the Girl Scout Cookie (or any other sugary snack I once binged on). I really don't. I know I'm in the majority here. I've had plenty of interaction with other GBers who assure me they MISS and LONG FOR sweets and junk food and other things we all swore to put behind us.

I don't know why I'm somehow not missing or craving these foods. Truthfully - I think it is because I know me and I had to stare down my demons and swear them all of and I have to acknowledge those demons and continue to swear them off again because I live in constant fear of dumping and reverting to my old eating and self-abusing ways.

I've moved on. I am healthy now. I am happy now. I have am wrestling my emotional baggage and the crap that once made me feel like food was my only friend. It never was my friend. I know that now.

Sure - I still partake in sweets. I've got three different bowls/jars of sugar free hard candies (5 - 15 calories each) on my desk. I enjoy a 60 calorie sugar free pudding snack about four nights a week. I have the occassional splurge with some Murray's Sugar Free cookies too. Honestly though - most of the time - my fat free milk and a teaspoon of organic peanut butter (30 minutes apart, of course) are currently my two favorite sweet things in the world - I'm still holding out for the Sugar Free Swiss Cake Roll - and they make me happier than any boxes of Girl Scout Cookies ever did.

Sorry, girls. No top-selling prizes for you this year!

1 comment:

nytova said...

Cutting out trans fats when I turned 30 made it so easy to say no. Now they're made with 0 grams of trans fat "per serving." But like you point out, who the heck eats just one serving? So I still say no to GS cookies! And I miss those Samoas terribly!