Friday, January 23, 2009

Another Good Night's Sleep . . .

According to my spotty research, a king size bed (one of which Joy and I happen to own) is 72" long by 84" wide. That is six feet by seven feet (if my equally spotty math is correct).

Unless it is "romance" time (DISCLAIMER - I won't elaborate here (our mothers both read this blog and) but when your wife is in costume and you are going under an assumed name it isn't really romance anyway, right Mrs. Naughty Librarian?!?!) and at approximately "normal" body size, that should be plenty of space for Joy and I to hunker down after a long day, the approximate 90 mintues it takes to get Ava to go to sleep on any given night and our nightly toothbrushing/flossing, mouth rinsing and face washing rituals, put some DVRed Real Housewives of Orange County, Good Eats or 30 Rock on and fall quickly to sleep.

Should be.

Since becoming a parent and ditching the C-PAP and having our baby become a "big girl" I've noticed that our bed is starting to feel more and more like a bad game of Tetris (one that you can't win, I might add) lately.

If I'm the long and straight four-block piece (I am getting skinnier, I sleep like a proverbial log and I actually prefer to be on the edge of the bed to being in the middle) and Joy is the L shaped piece (she has this knee thing she does because of her hip issues) then Ava is the little lightning bolt looking thing and Lily, God bless her, is the square piece. All night long the pieces seem to fall, in random patterns, from the headboard of the bed and they move, gently (unless you hit the down key) to and fro to make interlocking patterns that, once complete, break off in moans, groans, mutterances and snores.

"They" always make it seem like the proverbial family bed was some blessed, snuggled and wonderful piece of Americana. "They" don't sleep in our bed . . . and - sadly - neither do we!

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