Saturday, November 8, 2008

The Scales of Justice Swing Mightily . . .

We went to Lexy's basketball game at the YMCA yesterday. Ava, who is a real trooper at potty training, informed that she needed to go pee-pee so we hurried down the hall to the men's room to take care of bid-niz.

I realized, as I stood at the sink and watched Ava strain to dry her own hands, that I haven't been on the scale in well over a month.

I tried to come up with some good excuses to NOT get on the scale (I was wearing a heavy wool sweater and clunky sneakers . . . not good enough! I would miss some of the intense athletic excitement of 10 nine year olds chasing down a basketball . . . not compelling enough . . . I was afraid of what the number would be . . . not strong enough . . . Ava would not want to wait while I weighed myself . . . not likely enough). After 15 seconds of excuse searching - I jumped on the scale - exhaled deeply (does air in the lungs make you heavier?) and pushed the little weight thingy up and down the balance bar until it plained out in the middle of the window.

I closed my eyes . . . I said a little prayer and I looked down . . . 236.

I had a moment of panic. I started to strip down to have a "redo." My eyes welled up with tears. I could not believe my eyes. Then I sort of chilled out for a minute.

For the first time in almost 20 months I have gotten on a scale and not seen a lower number than my last check in. I have not gained weight. I have not slipped. I have not reversed nearly 20 months of good work and progress and accomplishment. I just haven't furthered myself in my goal to get to 200 pounds or less.

What was the net impact? None. I took the 4,000 paper towels Ava had pulled from the automatic dispenser from her and put them in the trash. I rinsed my face. I exhaled and inhaled and reminded myself that I have come a long way and have a long way to go and we walked back down the long hallway to Gymnasium B to watch the rest of Lexy's game.

I said nothing to Joy. I still haven't (she's probably reading this post right now - worrying about me) and I have not made any plans to to freak or flip out or do anything crazy.

I DID make a few commitments. I'm going to use our Christmas trip home and my long terms goals as re-motivation to get back on it. I'm setting my sights on 225 by 12/25 (that's right, people, a catchy slogan for my latest goal). I'm going to look at my diet again and see where I can cut calories and enhance my nutrition and I am going to really, really try to get motivated to excercise consistently (20 months later I'm still struggling with making that a regular part of my life).

Don't fret. Don't worry. Don't call in the support or the encouragement. I'm fine. It is fine. It is my first serious plateau. Nothing more - nothing less.

1 comment:

Shib said...

funny, I just now read this and I did this this morning. I have been stuck at a point between 175-176 for a coulpe months now and I need a kick in the behind to get started since Is till have 30 lbs to go till I am in the safe healthy place. Not that I am not in awe of what's happened so far but its ... the plateau!!! A scary place where nobody hears my screams :-)