Thursday, August 14, 2008

Happy Anniversary, Mom and Dad . . .

Today is the 37th anniversary (I hope I'm right on that number at least) of the day that my mother and father walked down the aisle in their very Catholic church to start their very remarkable marriage.

I love my parents. I admire my parents. I hope that (34 years from now) Joy and I still love each other the way my parents love each other as we celebrate 37 years as husband and wife.

Now, for those that really know my mother and father - they will know that they don't have a typical love. They don't have a typical marriage. Nope. They have a better marriage, in my never humble opinion, than most because their marriage and their love and their shared life are built on, based on and stuck to a very simple premise . . . they love each other and they are best friends and they will get through anything together accordingly.

No matter what trouble comes - three sons who took turns breaking their hearts in their own special ways, career turmoil, arguments, financial concerns, the stress of life, the challenges of learning that you might not know everything you thought you knew about your partner, etc. - they have always stood by each other.
And not just in that baloney, "Tammy Wynette" way either . . . they really supported each other. They really love each other. They let friendship and their shared love for each other, for their children, for the life they created and carved out together and their goals and dreams guide them through the rough spots and through the troubles and through the challenges.
My parents and I talk at least once or twice a week. I used to talk to my parents about every little challenge in my life. Every spat. Every scrape. Every up. Every down. Then I met Joy and my parents, like everyone else in my life, started to fade in terms of being my confidants. They still heard about the big stuff but not in a constant - "I need your approval/advice/help" way. More of a "This is what is happening in my life" way.
I think that is the right thing. It reinforces that maybe Joy and I are doing it right. That our love is the right love. That our friendship and our committment and our vows to see each other through whatever comes is the right promise to make and basis for a relationship. I trust her with my secrets, my hopes, my dreams and my life itself. She trusts me the same way (she just doesn't trust me to help her put together a handbag, shoes and jewelry challenge (smile)).
As I live my post-surgery life and as I find myself with all new things to talk to my parents about (like being a parent or being a spouse or being a mid-career professional, etc.) I get a deeper and deeper appreciation for the way they raised me, the roles of a parent and a spouse and the need to live a long, healthy and happy life based on the right promises, the right actions and the right relationships an support to let you feel protected and loved no matter who you turn out to be when all the twists and turns of life give way.
I love you, Mom and Dad. Happy Anniversary and THANK YOU for inspiring me and for starting me on the path of my life.

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