Sunday, May 18, 2008

The End of the World Is Near . . .

Dear Valerie Williams and Megan Thomas -

I owe you an apology. I was going to just send you an e-mail directly and sheepishly recuse myself from a decade of ignorance, blinding slurs and poor-hearted statements but since I made those statements and slurs and expressed that interest in such a public, public way . . . I felt I should apologize to you with the world watching as well.

I'm sure you know this, as I only ever did ONE thing to apologize for in your presence (insert sheepish grin here) but, for those who might not know - let me clarify what I am talking about. I am sorry for putting down Gap.

That's right. I am now man enough to admit that I was wrong.

I went in to Gap with my ladies yesterday. I perused. I found some stuff I liked (on the clearance rack) and I bought stuff (almost $300 worth of two sweaters and jackets for only $50). I saw a BUNCH of stuff I liked. I tried on some khakis . . . oh did I mention that I have a 42 inch waist these days? That's right - I've los 28 inches off my waist in a little over 14 months - that is two inches a MONTH on average. They make a nice pant. I tried on a few button downs. They make a nice shirt. Ava sampled some of the perfume/cologne/can't we all smell the same and get along potion and it smelled lovely (on Ava at least).

It seems that I was always anti-Gap because I was afraid of Gap. I was too fat for Gap. I hated Gap for not catering to me. I put on my blinders to this bastian of American fashion (made elsewhere but somehow "American" at the same time). I dismissed the store and alllllll that love it and shop it and wear it and enjoy it (all the MILLIONS of you). I hated the store because I hated that I could not shop there.

I apologize to you, ladies, and I warn the rest of you that the end of the world is near. I'm going to swing by Banana Republic tomorrow in Kansas City. You've been warned!

Love -

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