Sunday, April 13, 2008

Believe and It Can Be . . .

Not long before my surgery, Joy nervously approached me to ask me if I would sit down on a Sunday afternoon and watch a DVD with her during Ava's nap. Me, being generally aware of my wife and her "tricks" was immediately nervous. What was she up to? What home movie had she made in college when she was short on cash that had finally made its way to Joe Francis? Had she finally gone out and rented "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days" so I had no possible excuse to not watch it with her? Had the movie I made in college when I was short on cash finally made its way to Joe Francis? GULP!

I sat in my oversized chair and waited, anxiously, as the menu screen for our DVD player gave way to the loading disc it spun. And then it appeared . . . and my heart sank . . . The Secret had found its way in to my home.


Now let me be very clear. I love my wife. I would do anything for my wife. I mean that in the slay a dragon or fight a man for her honor or rob a convinience store so she didn't have to make another one of those movies that Joe Francis might some day get his hands on (should I just call this post " Let's Talk About Joe Francis"?). I mean that in the abandon any pre-concieved notions about how my life would play out because I fell in love with her at first glance. I mean that in the stop global warming way. I mean that in the I will sit and watch The Secret on DVD way too. I didn't need the DVD though and, much to Joy's surprise (I'm pretty cynical in 99.999% of my life and its dealings/trappings), I was one step ahead of her on knowing the Secret.

For those who aren't part of Oprah's army and how have been on some sort of Eutopic island for the last 18 months or so - The Secret was a book turned DVD turned YouTube video turned phenomenon that is based on a very simple premise. We, and our thoughts, control our destiny (save your money, folks, that is all the 90 minute video and the multi-hundred page book will tell you . . . again and again and again and again).

It seems that The Secret has been known by every successful person since the dawn of time. Nostradamus (sp?) predicted it, Lincoln knew it (just not at the theater that night), Oprah has lived by it and . . . truth be told, so did I - sort of.

I DO believe that if you expect and demand the best in life, you are more likely to wind out ahead in life. I do not believe that you can cure cancer with happy thoughts and I don't believe that negative thinking or worry has ever cost a woman pregnancies and I don't for a minute think that just being optomistic will get you any of your material goals in life. You're probably going to have to work damned hard for those.

The truth of the secret, in my never humble opinion, is that we are not fully in charge of our destinies but there is not some mythical force bigger than us that is fully in charge either. Scandalous to propose, I know.
OH - and PLEASE save your angry e-mails TOTAL STRANGERS (and people I do know) who've decided that they can talk me out of supporting Hillary or who think I'm a jerk for not crediting God for my struggles and successes in life. If you read this blog you know that, having shed 220+ pounds in the last year it is now official that my stubborness and my self confidence is the last thing about me that will ever change.

Sorry - there IS a point to all of this . . . my mother is having surgery on Wednesday morning. They are taking out part of her big intestine/colon. I'm worried sick about her mainly because my mother has been sick my entire adult life and the last six and a half years have been especially hard on her.

In the days leading up to her surgery, as I was when my surgery was approaching, I would hope that she'd be sitting around a lot thinking and writing and talking with people that she loves and keeping busy to push off too much thought about the surgery. INSTEAD my mother is cleaning out the house, finishing her quilting projects, returning the dining room to food serving condition (my parents use their dining room for all their crafts and hobbies, collections and chaos) and she is making my father take note of who should get possessions in the house "when" the time comes.

My mother needs to refocus her efforts and energies, in my mind. ANY ONE facing any major surgery or health condition or scare in their life needs to.

She needs to KNOW that this surgery could be the last obstacle to her being healthier and her being healthier could empower her to be happier and her being happier will make her healthier and being healthy will make her happy. She can pray to God if she wants to (my mother is still a devout Catholic so let's assume she will (smile)). She can ask for help from her family and friends. She can call and cry and say she's scared. She can e-mail and tell me to mind my own business because she knows the Secret too (she reads the blog - so she MUST know it by now).

I love you, Mom. I am worried about you but I believe you will be fine and I know that Wednesday morning will be the latest challenge to your strength, resolve, humanity and incredible heart and spirit. Like every test before it, you will wake up stronger, better, faster and wiser. BELIEVE that yourself, and it can be!

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