Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Let's Play Ball . . .

Here's a story that's got me a little grumpy today . . . the Florida Marlins, as a publicity stunt (admit it, jergovs - it is a publicity stunt) are looking for "plus sized" (that is what they are calling them) men for a cheerleading squad for their professional baseball team.

Ha. That's funny, right?! Ha. How crafty. Make fun of the obese. How ORIGINAL. What? You're not making fun? You really DO want the support of fat people and to have them cheer? You think it will elevate the game? I don't think so, Mr. Marlins. I really don't.
I can see your thinking though . . . we'll get fat men. And we'll dress them up in absurd costumes. And we'll make them dance and make fools of themselves for 9 innings a day. That's hilarious right?! Oh yeah. FUNNY. Real funny. The season's ticket holders will love it.

But, what if another team wanted to get people who had survived cancer ? Or what about the mentally retarded? People confined to wheelchairs? Cubans? Another minority group? The Mia-Ana set (the latest hipster slang for people afflicted with bulimia and anorexia)? No?! None of those groups are funny but fat people are? Oh, okay, I get it.

What? You DON'T think that is funny or appropriate Florida Marlins? Really? Hmmmm.

So you ONLY want to make fun of fat men. And the criteria to try out is to be fat. Okay, I get it.

Of course - they will have men show up for these auditions. They fill all the female cheerleader squads year after year and that is about as demeaning of a thing as I could POSSIBLY imagine (ha - you people thought I would forget that women are still degraded by every sport (professional, collegiate, high school, beer-league) in America for their "cheering" capabilities . . . but why DO they have to be 3/4 naked to cheer effectively? Hmmmm.

Anywho - men will show up. They will fill a squad. It will be a "success."

The higher your weight, the lower your self-esteem, I would suggest.

They will put on their poor-fitting uniforms and shake their blubber and will see people clapping and pointing and will think that they are loved. They will hear the cheers. And just assume they are being supported.

The irony, of course, is that the people in the stands - pointing and laughing and having a great time at the expense of these other men will statistically just be a bunch of fat people themselves. Fat people with enough money to buy a ticket and enough self esteem to self-loathe at the expense of others.

Shame on YOU, Florida Marlins.

1 comment:

Doug said...

Hey Sean - saw that, too. I actually think they're stealing the idea from some NBA teams that in recent years have added "dance squads" of plus-size dudes who entertain between quarters. I don't know - i'm not an NBA fan. Though I know I would not be pleased if the Mets pulled a stunt like this. It's just demeaning to the sport, and opens the door for WAY too many human-growth-hormone jokes.