Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Hello 280s . . .

I am in the 280s. 288 to be exact. I am five pounds away from my first 200 pounds of loss since my surgery. I will mark 10 months since my surgery on Saturday.

Can I lose 5 pounds in five days?

Is it worth it to try?

Probably NOT., On both counts.

But I'm this close to hitting that 200 pound loss mark and that feels good. Really good. As a matter of fact - when I lose just 2 more pounds I will have a BMI of 39 and will be simply "obese" instead of "morbidly obese" for the first time in a long, long, long time. I will, no doubt, hit that goal by Saturday (even if I have to weigh myself naked in the middle of the YMCA weight room to get there (don't think I'm kidding (KNOW I'm kidding))).

Next goal - 225 by the one year mark. 30 pounds to go! I'll have a BMI of only 35 - and I would barely be eligible for surgery at that weight. Weird that in a year I will have lost enough weight from the surgery that I could no longer qualify for the surgery.

I don't know why I am putting this pressure on myself to lose this weight at this point. I should be perfectly happy with my results to date (and I am) and I think I SHOULD be able to say "it will come over time" and to remind myself that it took me 31 years to get to my maximum weight - if it takes 18 months or even two years (about all the time any one can ever expect to have to lose weight through the surgery) that should be good enough BUT it is not good enough.

I want it over. I want to get to my goal weight as soon as possible (18 months at the LONGEST) and then I want to transition my thoughts and my goals and my strategies and my energies to setting up a lifetime of trying to maintain my weight and battling the pressures that will come with that.

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