Monday, November 19, 2007

My Wedding Ring No Longer Fits . . .

Statistically, this was all but inevitable. The research is rather staggering - after an experience like gastric bypass surgery it is very common for things in your life that used to feel so right and that used to be "perfect" start to feel wrong. Statistically, 60% of all women that have gastric bypass surgery will re-examine their marriage or long term relationships and as many as 9% will change or dissolve their relationships following surgery.

I can understand that. We are changing. Our bodies are getting smaller. Our minds are realizing all that we've been through and we're taking stock of who is in our life and why and how we might have never formed or kept relationships with people if we weighed "then" what we weigh "now" (or at least had the introspection we have now).

In my case - I've had a lot of these realizations. Forget people or ways I've acted - let's focus on tangable things . . . like clothes that are black. T-shirts with pockets. Pleated pants. Chicken McNuggets. Soda. Gum. All things I was once pretty sure I could not live without and - low and behold. I CAN. I DO. I PREFER IT! At the same time, things I once vowed to NEVER like . . . corduroys, white dress shirts, booths in restaurants and 3-D animated movies "starring" Angelina Jolie, for instance it turns out are all pretty okay.

Perhaps the things I wanted were never right or perhaps and perhaps the things I like now still aren't right but there is one thing that I've been perplexed to find no longer fits me . . . my wedding ring.

That is, of course, no "figurative" way of saying that I am unhappy in my marriage. To the contrary. Things are possibly better now that they ever were or perhaps ever could have been without my surgery. It is the ring itself that doesn't fit. It slips right off my finger. I have "lost" it a dozen or so times and spent hours searcing frantically for it. I have lost it in the laundry, lost it in moving boxes and, in one case, lost it in Lake Erie.

Today I realized I could take it NO MORE! I could never lose my ring and "survive" - I would be a mess. Anyone who was at my nuptuals to the lovely Joy could tell you that I cried like a baby the entire time I stood on that altar and waited for my band of white gold and it is much, much more to me than a simple piece of jewelry. It is a sign of my life, as I live it, as a husband and a man trying to improve for a wife he doesn't always deserve.

$22. That is all it is going to cost to have my wedding ring fit me again. It will be ready on Friday.

Now, if only all the things I've found in my life that no longer "fit" or that suddenly do "fit" were that cheap, quick and easy to fix.

1 comment:

Carrie said...

Hey friend, I am totally remembering your wedding ceremony right now... no you cannot lose that ring!
This was an interesting post... I think when anyone goes through a big life change, in your case the surgery, we reassess a lot of our routine and relationships and decide what we want to carry with us through the next "phase" of life.
I have no doubt you're going through a lot of that these days/months and I am certain you're making positive decisions!
Happy Thanksgiving!!!