Thursday, October 11, 2007

Feeling Blah about Food . . .

I think I'm hitting my "wall" when it comes to my normal food regiment.

Not to say that it has to be this way - in reality I CAN eat thousands and thousands of foods in this world. Flavors could and should abound. It should be a great treat and a great reward to find foods that are delicious and nutrtious and dine sensibly on them. I just have to be smart about it, watch portion size, count my calories, sugars, fats and proteins and know that I am responsible for every bite I put in my mouth.

The reality is also that I am very afraid of food still - after almost seven months. I eat a very, very small arsenal of foods. Those foods include . . .

- Fat Free/Skim Milk
- Reduced Fat Triscuits
- Reduced Fat Cheese
- Chicken Breast (no skin and often from the deli)
- Turkey Breast (no skin and often from the deli)
- Whole Wheat or Whole Grain Pitas/Wraps
- Protein Bars (I like Pure Protein and Protein Plus brands the best)
- Fat Free Refried Beans
- Chicken, Turkey and/or Beef Chili
- Boca Chik'n and "beef" Patties
- Black Bean Soup
- Fat Free Sour Cream
- Fat Free and Sugar Free Yogurt
- Hummus
- Veggies
- Sugar Free Mentos candies (no more than two or three discs per day)
- Egg Whites
- Salsa, Mustard, Reduced Fat Mayo and Pickle Stackers for "flavor"
- Water, Flavored Waters and my new favorite Fuze Slenderize and Tea (hot or cold) every now and again too.

Oh - and I eat Fat Free Pringles Light and Fat Free Pretzel Nubs if I'm feeling desperate for "salty junk food" (limiting portion control to no more than one portion per day and being sure to count those calories for the day (fret not)).

That's pretty much it. Has been. For seven months. If I'm being honest - MOST days, I just consume fat free milk on my drive to work, a protein bar for breakfast, a cup of chili for lunch, a turkey or chicken or Boca pita for dinner and some triscuits for an evening snack. I eat on the low end of the 800 - 1200 calorie per day dietary guidelines almost every day.

I'm in a rut though. It's starting to take its toll on me. Like looking at my closet in the morning trying to find something to wear - there are lots of options, there are lots of things that I am familiar with and that have served me well and that would do the trick but - I just can't seem to find anything I WANT to wear. Today, for instance, I'm wearing a blue v-neck wool sweater, a button down shirt from before surgery so it's way too big on me (collar just POPPING out) some pleated (I just thew up a little in my mouth) khakis so I can have the smaller waist I want and the room for my still-big belly that I need and my favorite loafers. Uninspired! I'm feeling the same way about my brown bag lunch and my breakfast too. Thank GOD they don't make pleated protein bars.

I need to break out - in my closet and the fridge. I know this. I've struggled with this before. In my long and legendary history of a dieting, about the time the food starts to bum me out - the diet starts to bum me out which CLEARLY means the diet needs to go (in my head at least).
I don't have that option now. This diet is for life.

I DO have the option to shake up my food choices though. Maybe I'll get a new bag-o-tricks for the next seven months or at least expand my food circle a bit.
In the meantime, my morning milk is getting warm and my protein bar is not going to eat itself after that. Blah.

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