Wednesday, October 3, 2007

The Crazy Stuff People Say . . .

I've been loving life post surgery. Loving all the challenges it has presented and all the good stuff it has brough to me. ONE of the many things that I (as a naturally cynical person with a sense of humor that thrives on the awkward and the ordinary) MOST enjoy is the stuff people say to me.

Now I KNOW they mean well. Don't start thinking that I'm some sort of horse's behind because I don't know how to take a compliment - I really DO appreceiate that people would say anything at all and I know it is awkward to talk about other people's weight, etc. - BUT some of it just cracks me up.

Here are my favorite 10 comments (in no particular order) that people have made, with no context and no names-named (because some of the guilty read this here blog on a regular basis).

10 - "Holy f&$k! Look at YOU, kid! Damn. Sh*t. Crazy. LOOK AT YOU! F#^k. Wow. Crazy. Sorry - you look good."

9 - "I was afraid that you were going to look like one of those starving African kids but you're still pretty plump though, thank GAWD! You wouldn't look good 'skinny' - it's not you."

8 - "Well, well, well . . . if it isn't Mr. Skinnypants and his loose fighting friend The Golf Shirt."

7 - "I'll bet you Joy is loving life these days!" (said while WINKING at me)

6 - "So, uh, if you don't really digest and absorb most of your food . . . does your poop look like the food you ate - like when a dog eats corn?"

5 - "I would not have even recognized you if I didn't know it was you. Do you hear that alot? I'll bet you do - you don't even look like you. You know?!"

4 - "So when you go out to bars, do people think you have a fake ID or do you just tell them that you don't look like 'that' anymore because of surgery."

3 - "A friend of my mother's had that surgery a while ago - she lost a ton of weight and then gained it all back in like three months. She said that they did the surgery wrong so her body absorbs MORE fat and sugar and calories than her old stomach did. I think she's going to sue. Do you worry about that? I would."

2 - "So when you go to Starbucks now . . . what do you order? Do you find it hard to go to real restaurants and places without a way to eat or drink?"

1 - "It's too bad you didn't decide to have this surgery years ago - think about how different your life could be. I mean you've got a sweet enough life - Joy is great and Ava is great and your job is great and you seem really happy but - just imagine how different things could be. Do you ever think about that? I would. Totally."

To ALL of the above commenters, I do thank you for you interst in and support of me during this process and I hope you don't mind that I outed your intended compliment for what it really was - just plain fuhnay!

For the rest of you - PLEASE feel free to post your own experiences and the nice/mean/awkward/enjoyable/laughable/frightening/romantic things people have said to you since surgery below too. If you share the best comment (I am judge and jury) - I will send you one sugar-free grape lollipop (flavors vary).


Carrie said...

I've read this post three times and I'm still giggling. Not everyone has a graceful way with words... but one thing they all have in common was that they meant to show you the love and it just came out twisted and funny. (I'm releived none of my questions or comments made it into the top 10!) Sean, you're just so awesome, I really enjoy reading your blog!

Sean C. Amore said...

Thanks, Carrie. Much appreciated. You have never really had the "foot and mouth" problem . . . ah, to be so lucky (smile). It's fine, really. It just makes me giggle.