Friday, September 14, 2007

Friday, Friday, Friday . . .

Ah, the weekend is here. Like any given Friday - but more so today - I'm really happy about that.

I've been a wee bit stressed the last week or two (long story, for another time) and I will say that this week has been particularly "trying" for me.

I have typed before about how, without food, stress is a very different experience for me and I will say that there have been a few moments this week that I was not so sure that I don't "miss" food and the comfort it would bring me.

Would I undo all this so I could binge on a crappy day again? Just once?


I mean, look, sure it used to help - for a very temporary amount of time BUT I look at all that I have accomplished - forget the weight loss or how great I feel and how much better life is, I'm talking about how much I've learned about myself and how much I am capable of without food - and I would never want to go back. NO amount of money or reward or stress would ever be worth it for me. Even for just one brief moment.

I went last night and blew off some steam though. $200 later at good old CasualMaleXL - I was happy as could! Still am. My new khakis are outstanding!

I have told lots of people this, and I will preach the Gospel of Sean here again, this is not about weight loss for me. That is just a wonderful side effect of the real transformation that I'm in the midst of.

When I get to the other side - even these brief moments of stress will be just memories (if at all) and I will be even more appreciative that - six months in - I am still strong enough and content enough that I don't let "sliding" or "lapsing" even factor in to my thinking.

Life is good - especially on a Friday afternoon. Yuns have a good weekend, k?

1 comment:

Carrie said...

Knowing that you won't allow yourself to have even a "brief lapse" is so admirable. It's inspiring to me. Your reference is to old eating habits but for me it can also apply to so many things. I would always forgive myself and start all over again whenever I would have a "brief relapse" into any of my old vices. Still do sometimes. You have awesome willpower and it's motivating to think of you!